don tell me that it's over

2007-03-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

oh & i actually found my blog. no,found the username & password back.
com's been sick. its better now. bt it's gonna have a relapse soon again.
i have somewhere else to update so this should be deleted sooooooon enough!

2007-03-05T00:35:00.000-08:00

look me in the eye without tears, & say goodbye;

watched Ugly Betty last night.
it was worth taking up 1 hour of my sleep cause i learnt many things
-
1. when your ugly, you could be shamed to your worst.
2. when nobody sees your beautiful personality,it could be very disheartening.
3. sometimes its too late to get the one person thats important in your life back, but sometimes its just possible without miracles.
4. sometimes even though you show your talent, it wont be appreciated.
5. some people who have more take those who have lesser for granted.
6. its not alright to be laughed and mocked at when you are odered to do the most embarassing thing.
-

i need you now.
but i cause you just too much
to pick up my phone &
message you tt i need you.
because after many moments in your
life, you'd realise you are better off
without me.

it hurts. hurts alot.

tell me you'll be strong & move on.
cause i'd be behind you
& i'd always believe in you.

2007-03-05T00:29:00.000-08:00

& home's got two dogs now! this new dog's super fucking cute. played with me this whole afternoon since i came back & slept on me. i couldnt move for at least fifteen minutes!! dogs are worth to watch and have by your side when they're asleep cause its rare (:

2007-03-04T02:42:00.000-08:00

happy moments are incomplete ;

im gonna watch Ugly Betty later !
-ugly's the new pretty

eyes are red when tears are shed.
i cry everynight thinking about
what has happened to us.

....
But i feel far apart,
& inside i'm cold and blue.
Each & every night i pray
that she will finally see
how much i need her back,
how much i want us back,
& how much she means to me.

don't take too long to say i love you too,to the ones you love, cause time has a habit of slipping away ;

silently,i'll pray.
pray for you
that you'd feel better
with each growing day
even if it means without me.

2007-03-03T04:08:00.000-08:00

Sharon says:
i miss you!
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
haha! but you just met me in sch just now?!
Sharon says:
i noee..but i miss u!! ahhaha u re dman cute!!!
Sharon says:
and my handsss still ve got ur smiley
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
heh, dont wash k,till next week! haha.
Sharon says:
ahahahhaah hopefully its doesnt go off!! hahaa i ve to bath wad it will naturally go off
Sharon says:
how u watched titanic oredi?
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
only disc one of titanic.
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
you can tag my blog, you know!!
Sharon says:
u can write me a testi u noe!?!
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
lol
Sharon says:
hahaha i will tag ur blog
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
(:
Sharon says:
haha amrita!! come k next week
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
i cant .
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
got the teachers-parents meeting thing in my sch.
Sharon says:
alamak!!! phad laa!!!
the reasons why i won't be coming says:
lol

the story behind the tag(:

2007-03-03T01:47:00.000-08:00

we belong to us, only when we see our reflection ;

first.
sch today rocked,as usual(:

second.
supposed to go for belinda's birthday chalet ! but gurleen!!

third.
family's not getting Toyota Rav anymore :( instead we're getting Toyota Rush. which is not a six-seater!

fourth.
tomorrow's to work on mt, then maybe bio.

fifth.
watch disc 1 of Titanic. just as i wanted her to say..'' its been 84 years & i can still smell the fresh paint '', she said it. disc 2 & 3 later.

sixth.
i still cant forget about the whole of yesterday at parkway! (: it was just so fun&funny. heh

seventh.
you haven't been bothering
& when you start to,now,
i feel weird. i feel its unreal.

eighth.
im outta here(:

i dont use hate but you define my hatred.

2007-03-02T05:01:00.000-08:00

everytime i see you falling, i get down on my knees & pray.

first.
sch was fine. chem was the best with angel.

second.
after school,parkway with alicia & melissa.
haha. it simply rocked with the de-stress & the toys & the ''laptop''.
& the monkey in minitoons(: - alicia walked out when melissa & i couldn't stop laughing.

third.
reached home at 730. it was raining heavily. bathed. com. tv. sleep.

carry on

2007-03-01T02:44:00.000-08:00

* & many a times they say, have a reality check. *

first.
sch was alright. math was okay. geog was just fine.

second.
home with you,the bully! (:

third.
reached home around four plus. just as i was about to sleep,644 called my hp & i answered.
my voice was damn drag. it was mrs peggy tan! yeah. she went..hello,you reached home? im mrs peggy tan. then im like, uh-huh. yes. she said, you know,i misplaced the certificate. i practically went HUHHH! she, i'll try to find it or else you give me the final one. i, k lah. she,sorry ah,i cant find it. i, its okay. & that was how my sleep was so disturbed & my mood changed. how the hell could she misplace it!

fourth.
slept. woke up at 545. late for double happiness. bro was already watching! hmph. going to bathe & then work on bio;ecology.

you'd know,
having left me,
i'd never be happy.
bt i gotta think about
your feelings too.

& the saddest part is,
its not easy letting go of
everything.

fifth.
angel's tag is nonsense! thank you for cheering me up when i was down. im grateful.
oh yeah,thank you pc for talking to me about things.

* don't leave me *

2007-02-28T03:18:00.000-08:00

everytime i see you falling, i go on my knees & pray.

today's nth much except tt i had terrible eyes.
problem with me is, i [--]

its okay.
i'd be fine.

2007-02-27T05:13:00.000-08:00

* the greatest fall ; matchbook romance *

first.
sch. everything was alright, i guess.

second.
i'd keep you as a constant reminder for the nights i spent holding on,alone ;

third.
home. slept. up. bathe. work. tv. sleep. & i'd think if my life was a movie,it would be a boring one.

fourth.
angel; thank you. irni; thank you.

fifth.
fuck. fuck. im in so much of fuckn pain!

* im feeling your frustration *

im holding on

2007-02-26T06:23:00.000-08:00

& these days, tears have been in my eyes even when im surrounded by the happys.

2007-02-26T00:39:00.000-08:00

* i substitute every fall back with, ''its okay'' but how long can i do this *

first.
p.e was pain! legs just hurt. bt i still managed to run most of the time.

second.
chem & bio was,uh, okay.

third.
during maths,angel & i could nt stop laughing! things were just too funny! & during ss also.

fourth.
i could possibly swear that dogs are at their cutest when they lick their paws.

fifth.
went back with (: ! shared laughter with (: got to work on (: 's HW tonight! :D

sixth.
& i've got a terrible blister at my leg. arrrrghhhh!

seventh.
double happiness to watch later. tuition. chinese picture. to clear up pending work. sleep.

eighth.
oh,& did i mention, today's morning bus ride was so boring without my mp3! ugh. listened to it last night and left it on my bed.

ninth.
BYE.

* sometimes,you just get these kinda feelings which hv no explanation or reason to it *

2007-02-24T21:43:00.000-08:00

*it wasn't just today
you thought of it many years,
& only today,
you felt it was right*

first.
planned an alarm to wake up at 9 this morning for studying of chem. argh! bt parents disturbed me asking for breakfast at around 845. got angry & offed my alarm to sleep for more. the next time i woke up then, was eleven! i jumped outta my bed,then yawned. i was still sleepy & i went back to lie down.

second.
chem's been rather irritating because theres just so much to learn & theres so little time.

third.
apparently, i accidentally downloaded a video on Borat. its called Borat goes Bowling. & its kinda funny bt some parts,i just dont understand. next to download is Borat goes swimming. haha(:

fourth.
im craving to watch Titanic. hope they show it soon on channel 5, star movies, HBO.

fifth.
& ever since angel told me about the tear gland in our eyes,i've been checking everyone's out.
everyone's like,clarissa,hinna,sheryll,nisa,khai! haha.

sixth.
& i'd pray khai would feel better soon.

& even when the whites fade into the blacks
no one could really help

2007-02-24T02:55:00.000-08:00

* i'll fight on, fight on for you *

first.
today school rocked because she didnt come & we slacked all day & played games! hahaha(:

second.
came back. slept till three. woke up to study for bio.

third.
simran messaged & i felt some remorse. bt its okay.

fourth.
parents out. bros out. ahhhhhh! im alone on a staurday night! :(

fifth.
to finish studying bio today and chem by tomorrow!

sixth.
regain the faith you used to have. regain everything,slowly.

slit for me. will you?
slit it the way you want to.
slit where it hurts most.

2007-02-24T01:42:00.000-08:00

the beautiful clique(:

2007-02-22T04:38:00.000-08:00

& today school was alright.
just that i broke down right after school.
everything just fell on me
thank you, alicia,tina,faiqah,irni,khai for cheering me up.
those tears will fall, bt i know you'll be there.

its fucked up & im tired.

2007-02-20T02:15:00.000-08:00

& nothing could have been so good than sitting on my parent's warm bed between both of them, with me holding the camera & they, talking about each & every photo taken there. laughs, and even tears came outta my eyes. they've got stuff for their children (= & nothing could have been so great & nice, watching them come back at our doorstep and saying, ''WE AREE BACCCCCCK!''
my brothers' reaction: where are our presents! me:(ran to the door) sister: (she was bathing) & my dad knocked on the bathroom door repeatedly and said we are back!come out sooon!

& so thats what happened half and hour ago (:
i effing missed them so.
mummy & daddy, dont plan another outing without the rest.
i'd badly be missing you guys!

later's out for dinner with whole family (:

2007-02-19T02:47:00.000-08:00

* does it not hurt to see the one you need the most, walk away from you? *
first.
& so i woke up this morning. I studied (:

second.
watched beyonce:live from wembly

third.
mum called! gosh, i effing miss her. back tomorro evening.

fourth.
i got a hint :D & im working on it

fifth.
she: how are you
me: not okay
she:why
me:you know why.
she:about her.
me:yeah. ah ya,nvm lah.
she:why you keep on saying be happy smile bla bla...but look at you?
me:i wanna brighten other people's day up(:
she:are you being fair to yourself then?
me:nope bt its alright
she:no its nt alright & ure nt being fair to those around you too
me:where got
she:you should know.
me:i dont know.
she: find out.
me:how?
she:you should know what is more important in your life...take the chance again...be happy.
me:i cannot be happy one ler.
she:hv you tried?
me:the circumstances dont allow me to be happy.
she:can you please be like how you and she used to be
me:she dont allow. its different.
she:?
me:we are just different now. im trying to get her to want me back . bt all i can do now, is hope and try hard enough.
she:all i wanna say now is that...shes worth more than i do...
she:while you cried for her i cried for you but it doesnt matter
me:how'd you know i cried for her.
she:then for who else?
me:i feel like dying lah.
she:what about me?
me:haiz
she:those tears are for her right?
me:yeah..
she:thanks ah.
me:sacarstic right
she:no seriously thanks for making my life a bit easier and knowing where i stand seriuosly thanks
me:bt i know i just made you feel alot worse.
she:its ok...seriously...when everything is ok i will be gone...
me:what do you mean?

& she never did reply.

* here i pray everything would be alright soon, & there when that happens, she'd leave me *

2007-02-18T01:20:00.000-08:00

* i want to cheer you up tonight, give me a chance *

fuck lah, he just made me more confused
& i feel worse because many things
are not the way how things i thought was.
its all one-sided thinking on my part.

today's been nothing much.
woke up to a message & found tears in my eyes.
cried & slept back. bt didnt feel any better when i woke up at 9-30.
bathed,watched tv. went out to get lunch.
mum called.
she:hv you eaten your lunch?
me:nooo,out to buy now.
she:it better be that case.
me:yeahhhhh!
she:dont starve,starve yourself.
& then after we put down the phone,
i thought,what the heck,
i went home, without getting food.
when bro's back home, i'll tell him ive eaten dinner also already.
in that way,i could escape.

harry potter's at night to watch.
but ive left my whole night planned to do smth else.

thats all for today & lets see for what comes tomorrow, & if i'd feel better.

listening to the true colours song, & yes its pretty inspiring & enchanting.

i miss mummy & daddy !

* maybe, along this sole journey,i'll stop & look at my tears for thats all i've got *

2007-02-17T00:55:00.000-08:00

* they say, titanic was the ship of dreams *

first.
cny celebrations yesterday was pretty alright. class party was just fine too.

second.
are you ready to go back to titanic?
its been 84 years & i can still smell the fresh paint - Rose
jack: promise me you'll never let go
rose: i love you,jack
jack: no, your a survivor, this is not a goodbye. you'll live till a old age, an old lady sitting in her warm bed, not this night. promise me, you'll never let go. never let go.
rose: i promised you, i'll never let go.
jack: if you jump, i'll go after you to get you.

third.
went parkway with alicia,pc,aishah,tina & clarissa. walked around, sat down & ate at swensons.
alicia,me,aishah and tina, took like about 600001 minutes to decide what to eat.

fourth.
then alicia & aishah got blue balloons, me,orange,pc,green and tina purple. haha, we were happy, like happy kids. but my happiness is only short-lived. then i was making fun of tina about smth. she started hitting me with her balloon stick and it broke! haha, & i couldnt stop laughing. :D
but i guess i was nice enough to exchange her broken stick with mine (:

fifth.
then, after a while, at around four, we went home. pc & tina took taxi from opposite and me alone from parkway.i was waiting for the damn cab like for half an hour cannot get. coz all changing shifts. in the end, went to join the queue. fuck sial, queue so fucking long. but what to do. got the taxi only around five. just my luck!

sixth.
home.

seventh.
parents just left for bangkok now & will only be back on tues night. mum's too worried over nothing. dad's just cool. haha. and so, tonight, going for movie at 9 with sister and auntie. then gonna sleepover with sis in cousin's house. im happy that that decision came about coz, i sure dont want my two brothers bullying me yeah! (: coming back on mon night.

eighth.
im gonna bring Stitch-y along(:

ninth.
i love all of you guys who tagged they love amrita! bye!

* my heart will go on & on *

2007-02-15T05:11:00.000-08:00

* these words come straight from my heart *

first.
& these days its been rather gloomy for me. no,not the weather bt the emotion. stayed back for cny decors today & i think all those who stayed back for it did quite well to bring the best out :)

second.
and i seriously cant stop playing with Stitch's ears, Alicia!! they are so bendable! haha.

third.
ohhh yeah! on the way home at around six plus, i dozed off & off in the bus and when i woke up, i was at boon keng there! ughh. & if i just dropped, i would have to walk super alot so decided to just stay & go to tp inter. & thats why i'd love to cab home always.

fourth.
what really made my day was that i passed my ss test. ugh! for the first time,lah,please!

fifth.
im tired. im tired. im quite tired.

sixth.
BYE-

* someday, i will understand *

2007-02-14T03:10:00.000-08:00

* when i look you in the eye, i hope you see nothing but pain *

hello.
v. day today allll right.
alicia's present was the best & aishah's was the cutest(:

dont know why bt felt extremely sleepy today.
slept during bio,math & pc & mt.

i feel like telling you many things
but i dont have the courage to
keep up & its also your reaction
that i need to care about-

day didnt quite end off right.
i dont really know what to say.
but im sad.

* even though we're with each other, i'd still find you very far away from me *

2007-02-12T05:44:00.000-08:00

* cause,time has a habit of slipping away *

:(

* and if time slips away, would you try to forget everything? *

2007-02-11T03:45:00.000-08:00

* theres too much that time cant erase *

first.
home all day & im quite happy with being home all day today because i had no mood to do anything else.

second.
pck's on tonight. grand finale. sheesh. im sad! how could singapore's most popular comedy sitcom come to an end so soon, just after 10 years.. what will cheer me up then?, when they're gone.

third.
iMesh rocks lah. the downloads are super fast. within a minute i got my song.

fourth.
im sad. im sad. im sad. i miss you asking me.. '' how are you'' ..

fifth.
i just gotta go cry. pck's to cheer me up tonight, i dont care. ; at least for one last time.

* do me a favour,listen to this song- ALL OR NOTHING BY WESTLIFE *

2007-02-10T05:27:00.000-08:00

* change my memory *

first.
sch's in the morning was fun(: . took two amazing pictures.

second.
popular at toapayoa with sharon & rav to search for what i couldnt in the end.
walked around and then went home around 2 plus.

-slept-

third.
com's been changed!,to 21 inches. seriously,i feel so small sitting infront of it.
ive not watched tv the whole day,today. its different

fourth.
duck's delicious? i think so. duck meat's delicious? HELL YEAH!

fifth.
to sleep at 11 plus. & to work on mt tomorrow. thats all;

& today,uncontrollably, i just broke down.
for five days,being on the verge of tears,
its today that i broke loose & its time thats
making me weaker.

2007-02-09T04:25:00.000-08:00

can you see!its Melissa love Amrita! and vice versa!

2007-02-09T04:04:00.000-08:00

* do you remember everything? do they flash back once in a while? *

todays school was just fine.
everything was alright.
math was fun! sighs & everything(:

then tina,hinna,melissa,aishah & me
went up to the hall to check out the o level results.
saw faces of joy. & saw the tears.
it was heartening.

then! melissa & me went to parkway.
so much of difficulty finding a replacement for her work.
lol; waited under the sun while she tried & tried. & NOO,im NOT angry.
was just joking lerr. (:
ate at pastamania. it was soo fun! haha, got pics to upload!
then went to the toilet, the male one!(haha!) & she couldnt stop laughing.
then walked randomly. left at around 545.
had fun with melissa. so much of laughter.
& yes,every friday,we gotta date! :P
& sorry,hope your not late for work again.

came home.ate.tv.com.tv.sleep.

* pastamania was fun(: *

2007-02-06T02:03:00.000-08:00

* without realising anything at all, i still cry *

school today was fine.
assembly was the best.
chewing gum just dissolved! yuk.

my legs been cramped. ;dont know for what fuck.
hit my head against the wall in sleep.

does it nt hurt if someone plans to forget you exist?
does it nt hurt when someone says your a mistake?

yeah,no doubt, its been kinda difficult to hide my pain,
my tears,the troubled look on my face and everything else,
but if its been obvious, im sorry.
My worst pains are words i cannot say.
Still,i will always fight on for you.
Fight on for you.

i do nt dare to look forward to a better tomorrow,or a more cheerful tomorrow.

* ive wind up my gears & this is one more day on the verge of tears *

im sad.im sad.im sad.im sad.
& i need you, so much.

2007-02-05T01:51:00.000-08:00

* what would come, would come *

even though i have everything,
i dont have anything,
because i dont have you.

i sure havent been feeling good & its killing me inside.
i need someone & there just isnt anyone.
nothing could ever be so prefect as much as i want things to be.

my hearts in two,
n you just cant be bothered.
no thanks to you though,
didnt you say,
it never did matter?.

if you feel like dying, please include me.
if you feel like crying, please include me.
if you feel like laughing please include me.
because i want to feel what you feel.
you'll never walk alone, i promise.

* & i always thought that the self esteem dove campaign advert was inspiring *

2007-02-03T03:00:00.000-08:00

* dont ask the pain afflicted what is happiness,what is laughter for hardship hovers over them in some form *

first.
school this morning was good,i thought. simran cut her hair & i teased her for tryin to be a bung. haha. she must have hated me like.. alot?. heh. class was funny. holding the PDA the wrong way, thought i offed the phone bt it was actually on & ringing & i thought the phone was haunted. haha.

second.
home then at 1230.sister & mum & me to go for movie, salam e ishq. saw sharon,rav & nirmal.
haha. met them everywhere! (:

third.
3 and a half hours. good movie. meaning full one at that. one of the best.

fourth.
107 back home & dad's been watching tv all along since he came back. bro sleeping. the other shaving. i think im too detailed in this post!

fifth.
god knows whats for dinner. maybe outta! (: & ive got a quote i remembered from the movie & it something like that:

i'll bring back your smile & hide my tears.
& dont ask the pain afflicted what is happiness?,
what is laughter?, for hardship hovers over them
in some form.

* i wont expect alot but my heart yearns care from you & i cant control that *

2007-02-02T03:32:00.000-08:00

haha, scroll down for what happpened(:

- shes makes me happy :D

2007-02-02T03:16:00.000-08:00

* ssexy love *

first.
school today was just fine. just that, biology was irritating? i almost wanted to cry when alicia & i started talking about something.

second.
after school,melissa,me and tina stayed back to have fun! & do math.
tina's calculator is soo funny. heh. had loads of laughter. never stopped gossiping & chatting.
talked about problems and trust.
rocked =)

third.
then,hinna,tina,mel & me went to seven eleven around 530 plus. ice cream.
hahahhaha!!! melissa & hinna both dont know how to eat. the icecream kept falling down and it stained mel's pe tee shirt, her hands and hinna's shoes. haha, was soo funneh. then it was sooo windy. the wind kept flying melissa's & my pinafore. howw pissing off.

fourth.
believe it? the wind almost blew me away. if not for chitra, i dont know where i would have flown to? yeah!

fifth.
then around 6, went home with tina and melissa in 13. laughed & talked soo much that people started looking at us in the bus! heh. reached home around 7. today,after school rocked(:

sixth.
'' thank you for making me feel very happy '' i sent to tina & melissa (:
& ive pics to upload,esp pics of melissa! heeHEE.

seventh.
yayyie,hinna. tomoro's salam e ishq with my sister,brother & mummy after school ! ccant wait.

eighth.
thats all(: pics,soon.

haha,hope melissa has reached her work place alreadyyie!

* you've changed,bestie *

2007-01-31T23:15:00.000-08:00

* its nothing at all. its nothing anymore. *

first.
& so school for today. 115 ended. geog test to stay back for. aakansha(:, haha,thankyoo!

second.
some things been on my mind esp during social studies, i dont know why.

third.
during geog lesson today, aishah & i played a game. a fate game. and if i won, i had to ask her a question about a matter and she'll have to answer me and vice versa.

fourth.
after school went straight home. havent gone back like that in a long time. 31 was fast.
saw melanie from tkgs! (heh, my primary school friend) & we talked about life.

fifth.
sour plum's with me & im loving it.

sixth.
happy birthday angel & chitra.

seventh.
i told aishah '' why do i cling on to those who dont want to care for me, and i dont give a damn to those who want to care for me " .. its so weird. but its human.

eighth.
theres nth more. someone should come ask me, how im feeling. preferbly, you.

* dont wake me up *

2007-01-31T02:15:00.000-08:00

* dont betray promises of faithfulness *

first.
yesterday, was parkway with alicia and hinna and aishah & tina. but tina didnt follow .
famous amos for hinna&me. & dont know whats the other one for alicia & aishah.

second.
today,after school geog was effffing funny! hahha. fit changed the time on our clock so ms shekhu will end it earlier & we took out all our watches so if she'd ask, we'd say we dont hv watches. hehh. eleana was damn funny! read her blog soon for more(:

third.
today during chem, it was emotional. angel,aishah,me; promises & stuffs.

fourth.
Diwei's dad passed away. he must be sad:(

fifth.
geog test tomoro & math quiz ended today.

& for some reason ive been yawning extra nowadays.

sixth.
if time permits, i'll be talking to you about alot of stuff soon, whether
they mean to you or not. or maybe i just wont have the courage to do so?
..

seventh.
nelly furtado-all good things come to an end; love it.

one eye at double happiness now.
why will quarrels ever cease? -
when will anger stop getting the better of us?-
ive learnt these from the drama.

eighth.
i'll be praying for angel, to feel better soon.
it would be better, if aishah could really tell me what was going thru her mind when
i say i need someone else.

ninth.
bye lah.

* you left me out of faith , give me back my life. *

2007-01-27T02:31:00.000-08:00

* you left me at the crossroads of life *

first.
& im seriously waiting for hinna to talk to me soon.

second.
mt for today. birthday bash for birthday girl. principal was kind enough to allow everything.

third.
i hope angel's having a good time out(:

fourth.
theres Madagascar at seven on star movies & then theres, war of the worlds to watch .
so maybe i'll be watching all night.

fifth.
chris brown's say goodbye is addicitve? hell yeah!

sixth.
thats all.

* the promises of never to lose you & never to leave me have faded *

2007-01-26T04:39:00.000-08:00

* only love will make a cold heart melt *

first.
yesterday,at approximately 715, i help porkchop with her chinese homework, its true. :D

second.
yesterday,after school was long john with angel & aishah. but i was just too pissed about problems to really enjoy. until, angel told me something when we were walking back to the mrt.
got me all excited & laughing to myself. i hope you do it,angel ((:

third.
raining these days, cold it gets, jacket confiscated, how unlucky.

fourth.
today after school,went parkway with nadia to have lunch. went back home in a yellow car. she left her hp behind & left the taxi at kallang. met up with her again near my house to return her back.

fifth.
i found thee mascara! wow,like finally! :D

sixth.
is this how we say goodbye?

seventh.
punjabi's tomorrow.
to work on subjects when i get back home.

eighth.
my shoulders hurt. my eyes are closing & i feel like uh,sleeping. but theres The Peak to watch!

ninth.
i dropped my hp so hard today. somehow, im lucky its not not working. im beginning to think this phone just rocks.

tenth.
if you'd lost your hp. if i'd lost mine.
what will happen ?

eleventh.
HINNA is practically going to watch Salam-e-ishq at ten tonight & im so jealous okay. but soon my turn will come, uh, hopefully!

twevlth.
bye.

* give me a chance to say, come back . make it happen. please,make it happen *

2007-01-23T05:41:00.000-08:00

a happy night outt.

2007-01-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

* turn around, look whos behind you ; promise me *

first.
school was alright. 2 for my studying of ss? damn. it just does not pay.

second.
sentosa for excursion. it was pretty scary. haha. but it was fun (:

third.
after that, tina,pc,me,aishah,alicia,amirah,khai,mashita,irni,fit,nisa and charmaine went parkway for dinner. banquet. saw mrs ivy lee. shes seriously just hard of hearing man. she was at banquet with her husband. wahaha.

fourth.
after dinner,many went off and it was left to me,pc,tina and aishah. we walked & window shopped. haha. it was simple fun(: ;it was happiness :D

fifth.
we all left at around 740. it was damn dark outside. bade byes to pc,aishah and tina and pimped off in a taxi.

sixth.
reached home at 815. bathed & now watching the peak(:

i will upload the photos soon.
just so tired now.

i had a happy day :D
those who were with me,
{ aishah,tina,pc
thank you for putting
that smile on my face.

* HAPPINESS LASTS(: *

2007-01-22T02:26:00.000-08:00

life is even too short
to have regrets.
keep that smile going
& be happy.
on the last day of your life,
you'll realise what a meaningful life
you've had.

first.
damn; angel didnt come. :(

second.
no pe. sat with tina & straightened some feelings out.

third.
went home straight after school today(: felt so good.

alicia,
neh, not inflicting all these on myself
anymore.
ive seen the light (:

you takecare
i'll be missing you.

2007-01-21T02:48:00.000-08:00

* losing you has forced me to learn that we could change the way we feel inside *

first.
watched Time for Dancing yesterday. its a true story.

second.
slept last night by the usual way.

third.
oh mother! today cheered me up a lil bit. its so funny!

fourth.
the dance floor premiers tonight at 8. mum & i cant wait to watch it.
coz the advertisements looked damn entertaining.

fifth.
im sorry,today. its Jan 21st, i left you for forever.
its 18th, she left me.

sixth.
school tomoro. pe's first. im gonna take it and strain myself purposely.

seventh.
thats all.

* why am i doing these to myself, when you dont bother *

2007-01-19T21:15:00.000-08:00

* when you realise that its all a mistake *

first.
punjabi was for this morning. only gurleen & ruby came!

second.
subjects later. gotta work on them.

third.
i have very very painful gastric paiiiiiiin! but i'll ~~survive~~
nothing's been going right.
its been very long & i need the song; Lithium by Evanescence.

fourth.
i'll do anything,mummy bt just dont bring me to KK. i'll just die.

fifth.
no more,bye.

when you try your best but you don't succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

2007-01-19T05:18:00.000-08:00

2007-01-19T04:14:00.000-08:00

* problem is, that she takes everyone for granted *

first.
sch was okay today, except that i was feeling very sick. like that since yesterday but came all coz of ss test. had unbearable gastric pain. i want ~~starvation~~, still.

second.
family doctor then. luckily,not kk. i would just die with so many tests.

third.
i dont believe in rushing,
but i do believe in waiting.

fourth.
mummy; can you tell me one good reason why your not eating?
me; where got,i got what.
mummy;or do you have some problem bothering you?
me;noo lah.

fifth.
thats all.

* ever tried to forget what you want to remember? *

2007-01-18T05:01:00.000-08:00

2007-01-16T04:32:00.000-08:00

i cut my wrists.
i pinned my throat.
just to know that you left me all alone.

come back.
come back.
please.

2007-01-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

* & i'll cry in the middle of the night *

eh i kinda missed this blogger's thing.
none other accounts beat it.

im sad. i need someone. tasneem's having
a headache so no disturbing.

aishah finally called bt i didnt answer.

i wanna go cry now.

* hold my hand when i feel empty *